I am a runner

When I started running again this past fall it was in an effort to loss weight, to stay fit during ski season, and to train for that marathon that's been on my to do list for the past 3 years.

I would look at the other runners I saw on the paths and wonder "when I would be a real runner"? I'm a fairly curvy girl and to me runners were tiny, little things. Women with little booties and non-existent chests were runners. My perception of the real runner had nothing to do with running technique. It was almost completely based on body perception.

But truthfully it was more than that. There is a feeling of inauthenticity that is pervasive in women. Whatever we are doing, it isn't enough. Even though I was running, almost daily, I wasn't a runner. A real runner. How do I change that way of thinking? I ski but am I a skier? I swim but am I a swimmer? Doesn't the fact that I'm participating in the activity mean that I am a skier, runner, swimmer...

What is it that leads to this kind of thinking? For me it was more than physical as I began to add the miles each week, and took my runs from flat streets to hilly, muddy, trails I still questioned "when will I be a real runner?"

This winter I have run in the rain, in the mud, and even in the snow. One afternoon after skiing even I tried running in snow shoes. Last night the weather service warned of high winds and heavy rain but I had a run to do. As I made my way through the forest I realized that something had changed. That something was the way I saw myself.

If you take a look at the new gadget I've added to my sidebar from RunningAHEAD you'll see that I've clocked in over 18 miles this week. I've competed in my first trail race. I finished my first triathlon and loved it so much I signed up for 3 more. I'm still curvy but now I'm fit. I'm strong. I'm confidant and sure footed. I'm proud of what I can do. And yes, I am a runner.

Please share your stories and accomplishments. I'd love to hear from you.

-ski girl aka the runner
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